Sunday, November 22, 2015

Thankful In All Things

To me, standing firm in my faith means I let God be in charge regardless of what my feelings say or how things look. That's not always easy to do when circumstances seem dire. The choice is mine to believe He controls all or nothing at all. There is no gray area.

The Bible says we are to praise Him in everything. And as weird as it seems, I've begun thanking Him for those things of lesser value. In a book I read recently, Power in Praise, Merlin Carothers says if we dwell too much in fear and doubt we block God from entering the situation. On the other hand, thanking and praising Him for it releases his power. And it seems to change how I feel about it. I'm kind of excited to see what He does.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Paradoxes of Prayer


I asked God for strength, that I might achieve. 
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey...
I asked for health, that I might do greater things. 
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things...
I asked for riches, that I might be happy.
I was given poverty, that I might be wise...
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God...
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life.
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things...
I got nothing that I asked for-
but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered-
I am among all, most richly blessed!

Author Unknown

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Past Failures

What a wonder it is to see our adult children live their lives totally separated from the apron strings that they once held onto. Although I never wore an apron, there was a time they put their little hand in mine.

But sometimes I see a side of them I wish wasn't there. I resist the urge to literally shake them back to   the caring person I usually see. Sadly, I know some of my past failures have grown them to this place, this attitude. Despite my regrets at the decisions made long ago, I can't change what is done.

That God will use "all things" to accomplish His unique purpose must give me the hope to continue. My days of teaching the boys may not be a sit down lesson any longer, but my example speaks louder than words. I can't let regrets diminish today's inspiration. After all,  none of us are finished products yet.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

I Like Me

I love the uniqueness of each of us. From breath one we accumulate memories and influences that make us who we are. Am I odd in being so happy with who I am? Is my confidence in the way I look (or not look), and what I know (or don't know) a blessing?

As I typed out my profile on a dating website, I had to describe myself. But to say I really don't need anyone, would just like company once in awhile, would not come off appealing. To say, I don't want the obligation to communicate every day or see each other a certain number of times a week doesn't sound very good either. I think I just want a friendship like a girlfriend is. I call her, don't call her, do something together or not, but no hurt feelings. We will see...or not see.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

A Restful Contemplation

I was on the hillside when the weed whip finally ran out of battery. It was a good thing because my arms were tired. I was tired. So I sat under one of the several old oak trees and caught my breath. Then I did something I very rarely do. I cleared my mind of all things but the huge trees around me, so thick I can barely see the sky. I lay back on the ground and for a moment hoped those in the houses across the raven did not think I had had a heart attack, then even that thought was gone.

What beauty in a tree that is a home to many creatures. It must withstand the drought of summer and bitter winds in winter. I wonder what this tree has witnessed in it's 100 or more years. Was it planted intentionally or from a fallen acorn? Who will live here when it finally falls. And the biggest question of all, will it fall on the house with me in it?

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Same Parking Lot, Different Life

There was a day when Steven was very sick and and in pain. My life was getting to me and I hadn't the strength to even pray properly. As I crossed the parking lot from one building to another I looked to the sky and asked God to please, please strike me with lightning so it would all end. It was too much.  Now, it was a super sunny sky but I was talking to a big God who could...heal my husband , or make lightning on a sunny day.Of course, no quick death nor miraculous healing.

I cross that parking lot several times a day as I work and every once in a while I remember that prayer. I am in awe that I not only made it but still love my God. He who sees the end of the story and not just that chapter. I'm grateful for the joy I have.

I had a pastor tell me I have the joy of the Lord. Of course, I still have a heartache with Steven's name on it, but joy is there surrounding it and making the sting a little less.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Why Am I Here?

How is it I can walk from the kitchen to the bedroom and forget what I walked there for? This concerns me, because it's becoming more apparent. I should feel better by the fact that walking back to the kitchen usually reminds me. I recall too how I can lose something without even leaving my chair and wonder what I will be like 20 years from now. It's a scary I will probably forget.