Wednesday, August 8, 2012

I'm okay

I overheard a conversation at the checkout counter as we all grumbled about the bad winter weather that goes on forever in Illinois. The lady in front of me said to the cashier that no one would hear one complaint from her. She said due to her medical prognosis this was suppose to be her last winter and she was going to enjoy every minute of it.

What if we omitted all the time we spend in negativity? How long would we have left? If our life only consisted of the time we spent on thoughts that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy, how long would our life be?

All day long I've been on the verge of tears. I start off wallowing (this is different than waddling) in self pity each day and then I hear someone else speak candidly about their life and I realize we all have a story. Good and bad experiences are there for us all. It's just my turn for a bit more than the average Joe. I'm good, I can take it.

I'm okay
  Until I see an elderly couple.
I'm okay
  Until I look at our new grandson.
I'm okay
  Until I hear a cancer story, most of which do not end happily.
I'm okay
  Until I see leaves on the trees changing.
I'm okay
  Until I think of our sons.
I'm okay
  Until I look in the mirror.
I'm okay
  Until I hear just about any song.
I'm okay
  Until someone complains about their husband.
I'm okay
  For the first 5 seconds after I wake up.
I'm okay
  Until I think about the future.

I'm out of wit, wisdom and words. I'm going to bed.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sending you a virtual hug right now...as big as any "bear hug" you've ever gotten. I can't say I know what you're going through, but that bit about hearing stories about other people w/cancer...well, I'm sure you know this, but my mom is a Breast Cancer survivor...so I guess there is one "happy ending" I don't even know if what I'm saying makes sense...I'm just saying don't give up hope. Trust that God has a plan...and that he still does perform miracles!!

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