Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Who will I be

I won't know who I am without Steven. He is the one full of humor and wit. He never complains (unless you count his growl), and always looks on the bright side of things (unless he is getting a late start when fishing, his sandwich is cut at the wrong angle, his beer is badly poured or the Bears are playing like crap).

By the world's standard I'm not much to note. I'm pretty hard on myself so if I'm not a natural at some game of sport it's just one more thing I've failed. I'm very frugal so designer names are not a necessity, nor jewelry or makeup or accessories. There it is. I will probably never be prestigious, nor do I dream of a crowd of clapping people, or having my name in a history book.

Yet by God's standards I'm awesomely perfect. I am secure in my faith in Jesus Christ and believe the promises He will not break even if I screw up. He will be there again and again and again forever and ever amen. That love He and I have cannot be taken from me. I find solace in that because I've been vulnerable of late.

32 years ago at a Halloween party I had my palm read. She turned over one card after another and said a few general things. Then she turned over another card and instantly looked uncomfortable. I got out of her that something bad was going to happen. She didn't say what, she just picked up her cards. I walked away confused and not really believing in that stuff anyway. But as I went on with my life I always wondered at the rough patches if this was the bad thing. I wondered when my marriage fell apart and again when my dad died. I wondered when I miscarried and now I wonder again...surley this the bad thing.

1 comment:

  1. Denise, you and Carol were the two people who convinced me that God could love all of me. Even the secret parts that I wanted to hold onto. Silly me...he already knew the secrets. When I read you blogs, it reminds me of his love. You are an inspiration to alot of women. If the worst comes to be, just remember he has a plan for you, and I hope that my friendship is included in those plans. Love you!!! by the way awesome picture of the whole family.