Hi God, it's me again. I love knowing today is not a chance occurrence but a perfect plan of Yours. That, and my love for this man is what is getting me through this day. You have seen me floundering yet wait for me still. I hate the fact it takes so little to make me lose my temper. Curse words are out before I have a chance to think about it. Yet You wait for me to come to you. Your arms are filled with gold tinged love ready to wash over me and soak me.
So much scripture tells me to cry out to You and You will rescue me. What does rescue look like? All I see is that I'm not dying. I know I should be grateful that I even have You, but other than still being able to breathe I don't see any rescue. Could it be you are rescuing me from something worse than I'm going through right now?
I'm thankful for everything and do trust in You. I can spill my guts and You won't think less of me for my confused state of mind. I don't have to do some grandstand performance to earn You. I remain grateful for the hand that reaches down for me and pulls me from this pit life has so carelessly thrown me into. And I praise You for the rescue I am not able to see but know is there.