Monday, February 4, 2013

Steve loves me more than anyone

Steven loves me more than anyone else. More than the boys, or my mom or my closest friends. He has seen me at my worst, and held me through some very hard times. We lost a baby, watched two teens try to throw their life away and relocated a business. This last doesn't sound like a big deal but Steve worked 14 hours days and about did himself in preparing the new building.

One night after my father died, Steve was holding me as I cried. Not knowing what to say, he said, "My heart is saying what your heart needs to hear." He knew I hadn't had the closest relationship with my dad and repeatedly reassured me I was a good person, worthy of loving.

How do I put my toe over the line of reality and think of life without Steve, much less my whole foot crossing? To envision that nightmare denies a faith in God and His ability to heal. Yet to only think he won't die from an incurable cancer because God will heal, is setting myself up for a possible disappointment.

How will I answer the unbeliever's question of why God didn't answer when I had faith? Maybe this is what it means to not put all your eggs in one basket, even though it would seem easier to carry them that way.

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