I had barely gotten to work Monday, when Steve called me. He said I needed to come home because the doctor's office wanted to see him regarding last week's scans. The doctor explained that the tumors had grown significantly and could be seen in the lung and the liver. That was why he was doing so poorly last week. They immediately started a chemo called topotecan. This will be done once a week. They also ordered an MRI to see if it has spread to his brain.
This is all disturbing because it was just a month ago that the tumors were too small to seen. We didn't talk much about the ramifications of what this next stage means, but it was hanging over us. We are both feeling the effects of impending doom. Our train of thought gets lost and we are short tempered. At the same time we do not want to be far from each other physically. I can't say enough times how it breaks my heart to see him go through this.
But the weather was so perfect that day. So we had lunch on the deck, did some light yard work, took a nap and visited my in-laws. What are you going to do, curl up and cry? That is for later.
I feel like a window has been shut on us.