I think we both thought Steve would be admitted when we went yesterday to see the oncologist. But it didn't happen. The doctor started him on a steroid and ordered a CT scan. So we have traded some symptoms for new ones as he adversely reacts to a drug he hates. And we are back to our silent worry of what the scan will show.
I'm so tired. Yesterday, after I got him in bed after the appointment, I ran to the pharmacy for his prescription and some Gatorade. I then ran to work and tried to catch up, then home again. I went directly to him in bed and crawled in. We lay knee to knee, holding hands, eyes closed and just breathed. Minus the tears, it would have been heaven.