Today is somewhat better for Steve. I can see the disease is progressing but he is on the morphine and dopey is better then in pain. Bless his heart.
I had my first bad headache since my working from home began. Not wanting to lessen my senses, I hesitated taking my migraine meds but finally gave in. I'm so glad I did.
I seem to cope better if I commune with God as often as possible. I carry scripture on index cards to meditate on. I have Pandora on my phone with my favorite Christian artists, and can listen to them anywhere. I listen to Heritage's sermons online. I keep the car radio on K-Love.
These things make me weepy, but only because they remind me of the importance of getting Steve and I through this. Most impacting is, I'm not alone because God loves me so very much.
None of this is His fault. We are not promised a life of ease. That will come later. But, He does promise to be with us as we go through these things. God is big. He can heal Steve, but maybe that's not His plan. I can't see the big picture, I can only live this day moment by moment knowing I'm not alone.