I went back to work yesterday for my first full day since the end of May. Wow, that was a long time ago. An era I will never forget. I think the hardest moment was when I marked my status as widowed in our system. Widowed. It sounds like an old person. Am I old and I don't know it?
My drive home was one of the things I was most worried about when I would think ahead. My house was now just me. Steve and I had such a routine. So I made phone calls as I drove to take my mind off the emptiness awaiting me. Then I went out and started pulling weeds. I came across these lilies that Steve liked and I hated since they attracted mosquitoes. I started yanking them out of the ground. They came out so easily with the still moist ground. I knew he would have been mad if he were here but I hated them. And he is not here to get mad. I don't think they have the mad emotion in heaven, so I'm probably good.