I'm having trouble with joy. It's just not there. Maybe it would be weird to have joy a mere 25 days after ones husband dies. But as I go into scripture and read God's promises, it doesn't say joy is only for when life is going well. In fact it says the opposite. Romans 8:15-17 talks about receiving the word with joy, sharing in His suffering and also in His joy. I have shared. I have shared both in unwaivering love to the sad, sad end of Steven's life, and I have shared with words that it was not by my own strenght I was able to do this.
I'll settle for peace now, but I want joy.