Saturday, August 17, 2013

I Cry

In this period of mourning I can cry and no one would think twice about my tears. It's not to be blamed on PMS or being pre-menopausal,or just an emotional female. I've experienced one of the biggest losses in an extremely painful manner that there is. It is expected that I'll cry.


So I cry. Lots. I cry when I look at the river going by, and when I put lots of paper in the fire and he wasn't here to complain. I cried when I walked by his boat and reflected on the fact I would never see him motoring to his favorite fishing spot. I cried when I wore his undershirt to bed. I cry when I see his toothbrush still in the holder. I cried when I woke up with a headache from crying so much before I went to bed. And that was just yesterday.

I wonder how long this season of mourning complete with the freedom to cry will last?

3 comments:

  1. That depends on you. Concentrate on the times he hade you laugh, the times you laughed together. Not on the months he was dying.

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  2. The problem with this advice is that even joyful memories can make you cry because you miss them so dearly.
    Denice, the answer to your question is "How ever long it takes" No one can or should tell you how long. Your grief journey is yours and it will have better days than others. Don't be hard on yourself about it. You've been through so much and lost so much. You're exhausted! Let others know how they can help you and little by little their smiles and kindness will lift you up and sustain you for longer periods of time.
    But for now my friend, it is OK to cry!!!

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  3. This period of mourning will last, as far as I can tell, forever. I still cry. Just not as often. It is cleansing so go ahead and cry.

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