Saturday, August 3, 2013

Need Help With Happy Thoughts of Steven

It's funny how some verses in the Bible perfectly explain how I feel. My devotion yesterday was Lamentations 3. Verse 19-22 say this;

The thought of my suffering and hopelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.

There is no doubt to me I will get through this. When I think of Steven, I'm sad and I cry. I need to have happy thoughts and I can't get there. I can't get beyond both of us in that bed, with me holding him. It's what I have right now and I have to cling to this pain because I'm afraid when I stop...Steven will be gone.

2 comments:

  1. He will NEVER be gone. When you let go of the pain, that is when the happy thoughts come. But don't rush it. You need this time to grieve. The Lord knows when the time is right.

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  2. That sounds like a frightening feeling but I promise you that someday, when you speak of Steve, that it won't be welling tears or crushing pain that you feel. It will be a feeling of bittersweet joy. There will be the memories where he made you laugh, surprised you, or brought a joyful tear to your eye. Maybe it will be the memory of that moment of when you met Steve or the memory of that very moment of when you knew you had fallen in love with Steve. Maybe it will be a memory of a beautiful quiet moment shared or a hilarious moment, that whenever thought about, made you both grin ear to ear. They will all come to you again ,like a movie for the mind, and they will be there for you after the shock. After the grief. There will be a time, that when Steve is spoken of, friends and family will smile, reminisce, and even laugh. Steve will always be there in your heart and will never fade from it. His immortality is two fold. In Heaven, where he waits for you, and here amongst us in our hearts and memories. I hope you can find some comfort in that. Always prayin' for you and your family, Denice.

    S. Rice

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