I was reading Romans 8:26-27 this morning which talks about how sometimes we don't know how to pray when we are distressed. And how our Holy Spirit within us, prays for us, in harmony with God's own will.
It reminded me of a time when I was holding Steven in bed, as we waited for the morphine to kick in. I told him I wanted to pray. Then, I started crying, as I told God I had no idea what to pray for. The previous pleadings had become mantras that went unanswered. Asking for a miracle, asking for more time, begging for no pain. I know I trusted God. I had to, I was powerless and desperate. I believe in that moment the Holy Spirit prayed for us, saying just what was perfect to my Father's heart. I know, laying there, drained of all energy, we both fell asleep.