This life is not all there is. This life is a rehearsal for our real life, our forever life in the presence of God. Steven just has heaven before I do. That I'll get there someday and see that smile of his again is just a matter of time. But the desire to pull the covers up over my head and not come out is still a strong pull. If I do that I would be choosing to not live, which is like choosing to die. Not a physical death but, certainly emotionally and spiritually.
If you are not turning toward God, you are turning away from him. I choose life. Life toward a God that knows me better than I know myself. I will not be destroyed with this heart crushing sorrow and disappointment. I want a life that is open to new joys as well as additional sorrows. I'd just like to request it be a while before the other shoe drops.