I have spent a year dreading each season. You can't get excited about any future thing when the one you love has terminal cancer. A holiday's meaning loses its appeal. They are just more markers leading to the inevitable. Steve was diagnosed in June of last year. When fall came I wondered if he would make it to another summer and if so, would he be heathy enough to do the things he loved. As winter drew closer the weather stayed mild. Steve fished into December. We put off brain radiation until January. But this last spring refused to come. I knew he was running out of time. I prayed for God to let it warm up, but the cool weather and rain held on. The circle had come back around to Summer. And we knew Steve would not make it through it.
Now as we enter fall I find nothing to dread. There is no inevitable with the one I love. And as sad as that part is, I can find hope in a new season, a new beginning.