I started a new devotional and journal days after Steve passed away. I poured my heart out in mourning and sorrow. I read what I was studying called, The One Year Book Of Hope, which is what I needed. I needed hope for my future by myself.
I took this journal with me when I went to Phoenix. Since I returned home I haven't been able to find it. So, I started a new journal and thought it would show up. It hasn't. I was sharing this with a friend who said that maybe someone found it that needs it more than I do. As embarrasing as that is, it may be. I don't hold much back in my journals. It's my way of getting out anger, disappointment and frustration. Then the blog is a toned down version where I sound mostly sane.
What would some man or woman, young, old, married or single, think of the rantings of a crazy woman? Maybe it would make them more grateful for life, or for their loved ones, or God? Or maybe the darn journal is under my couch, waiting to be found.