I had not seen my brother since Steven's funeral over a year ago. The time before that was a year prior when his wife Robin passed away. That we are widow and widower at our age seems unusual, but it is a basis for who we have become.
Both of us were care givers to our spouses. There is a degree of recovery required before life can become a new normal. To go from being totally depended on to being totally alone is a big leap. We are healing and are different people now. I'm not Steve & Denice or the bosses wife or a wife at all. Neither of us want even a goldfish to be responsible for. Not that we think it will die, but to distance ourselves an obligation.
It is only to another who has walked in our shoes that we can say, "That was really hard."