Monday, January 26, 2015

When You're Alone

I have never been alone so long. I remember when the boys were young, taking a bath was as alone as I could get. Oh those baths, how I treasured them.

Now, it is...endless. There is not an hour when someone will arrive home. Quiet greets me as I come in after work. I can love it or hate it, so I love it. Things are only as loud as I make them. Or light, or aromatic. I have time to think. I have so many ideas of what I want to do, and not enough time in one day. I can only hope by the time I retire I still have as much enthusiasm.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Need vs Want

I love the excitement of getting packages in the mail. During the Christmas season, I was always getting a package at work or one would be by the door when I got home. It didn't matter that they were not for me,  I got to open them.

Now I just want to order things so they keep coming. I want to see that Fed Ex truck stop out front. The thing is, I don't need anything.

Monday, January 19, 2015

What Am I?

I stay far away from the car in front of me, driving the speed limit or even less. I avoid the right hand lane where the snow melt is and am careful of pooled water. I'm happiest when the weather is below freezing. What am I? A newly washed car. I do not stay that way for long.

Friday, January 16, 2015

What He Would Say

As I danced around the living room with the music loud, I thought of Steven. I imagined him smiling. And he'd say, " Neece has got her groove back!"

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Another Chance To Make A Difference

Another woman was recently widowed.  I didn't hesitate at all. I got out a card and not only sympathized with her but reached out buy giving my phone number and an offer for coffee. My prayer is, she calls and finds in me a good listener and not someone who follows each statement with one of her own. But, I do want her to know, peace will come, and the strength to get up each day.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

The Creation of Adam

I love Michelangelo's Creation of Adam painting. It shows two pointed fingers almost touching.  I think of how God is reaching out to us patiently waiting for us to to reach out to him. What joy awaits that encounter.

It reminds me of my waiting for my boys. I needed to have patience while they grew up, found wisdom and who they wanted to be. I waited for them to go from rebellious to respectful. But, it had to be when they were willing, not I as the parent.

God waits too. He keeps putting big and little things in our path to steer our course toward himself, but the choice to reach out and accept this 'love like no other' is ours alone.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
                                                                Martin Luther King, Jr.

Friday, January 9, 2015

The Value In Being Good

It's easy to go through life thinking no one notices the choices you make when you are alone, but that is the most important time. Those choices define who you really are.

My talking to myself (and God), help with this. It's harder to sweep dirt under the rug if you are conversing aloud.

Even as a little girl, I thought of God watching my every move. He would have this scroll in which He writes down all the errors of my way. Then when I'm before him, he rolls out the scroll and it unfurls beside me and keeps going and going and going. I will have a lot to answer for if I haven't settled my affairs when I'm here.

Then I see a file drawer full of all the prayers I lifted up. I see God showing Steve the drawer with his name on it. He tells him, here are all the prayers Denice said for you. Steve will be amazed and will finally,
for the first time ever, say, "Denice, you were right."

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Right Turn No Stop

When a sign at a merge says, Right Turn No Stop, it really means it. You don't want to stop or even slow down. You want to speed up so you can merge with the fast going traffic.

I have almost rear ended many a car fearful of merging. I don't even look behind at the traffic coming at 60 miles per hour because I have to keep my eye on the car in front of me. One swing of my head and it's all over.

I just wonder though, whose fault the accident would be.

Friday, January 2, 2015

Forgiving Yourself

Forgiveness of others can be hard, but to forgive one's own self for the past can often
be more difficult.

Sometimes the vividness of my past stupidity can be so strong I can feel the guilt all over and carry it as a weight around my neck all day.  But as a believer of God, I'm to remember, I've talked to Him about this and asked forgiveness. He no longer remembers and wants me to forget it also.

I can't move forward with a weight around my neck. That wonderful gift of peace for today will allude me. And that good work for tomorrow will contain less good.

Are you tired? Have you forgotten what joy feels like? Unburden yourself. Nothing is too much for
Him to take. He is waiting.