Sunday, March 15, 2015

Getting A Man To Talk

Even though Steven had a 30 year old business, he wouldn't broach the subject of what should be done with it when he passed away. When he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, my greatest fear began. Only this was life and not a nightmare you can wake up from.When you are a caregiver, you want to do everything you can to make the sick person comfortable. Being a nagging wife was not in the cards. So how was I to get the knowledge only he had?

I consulted a pastor who spent time listening to me as I struggled. He said Steven may never talk. This was not acceptable, but what choice did I have? Stomping my foot and slamming a door were not me. And didn't he have struggles he wanted to talk to someone about? Was he scared of death or pain? Was he worried about me or the boys? There were lines I couldn't cross and being the good wife I would let it go. But I knew this was not how a healthy marriage should work. Silence, he was good at silence.

Do you know your spouses wishes? Is there a way to pay for things? Talk about this while you are both healthy. After all, none of us will escape it.

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