Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Remnants of Steven

Sometimes, I get flashes of Steven. It may be a moment in time when a conversation transpired. The conversation could be a good one or bad. Depending on the emotion involved, it remains with me as a dream when you wake up. Today I mopped around. The conversation had not been a good one. He could get angry and I feel bad even though he's gone that I angered him. I hope he knew I loved him. Do you think it's a normal grieving experience?

Monday, May 18, 2015

The Importance Of Listening

Slowing down enough to hear God goes against our nature. It takes very little time for our minds to wander and come up with things we should be doing. And ironically nothing could be less important when having God time.

So I keep a tablet next to me. As all my thoughts fill my mind I write them down. Then get back to God.

Monday, May 11, 2015

Steve's House

As it rained outside, I rested my head on the cold glass of the patio door. I saw the chairs and table where Steve and I sat so often. I whispered to him how much I missed our times together, as though he is waiting somewhere just to hear my voice.

I realized sadly that I think of this house as still his and not mine. Even after 25 years, all the work I've done, money, decisions, it is still Steve's house. I wonder if that will ever change.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

True Importance

Along with the everyday prayers for loved ones, I need to remember to pray for what truly matters to a life and soul. I'm reminded of this as I read what Paul in Philippians, who is in jail at the time, prays for his friends.

He prays that their love may grow more in knowledge and discernment so they can find what is excellent and be sincere and without offence. He prays they may be filled with fruits of righteousness that are from Christ which brings glory and praise to God.

Paul has been striped, beaten and jailed. Yet his prayers are not for himself, but the friends he is separated from. What an example this is to me of true importance.