As I near near the 2nd anniversary of Steven's passing I am again amazed at the passage of time. Where does it go so quickly? My thoughts are their usual scattered of ups and downs but fortunately life has taken on a new rhythm. I could never have imagined I'd be able to ever be happy in this setting, but for the most part I am.
I read Widows United on Facebook and feel for these women who after years of being alone have not moved on and are still carrying a load of grief that prevents them from ever seeing the joy life still has.
Our husbands are usually our main source of comfort and companionship, our best friend. It takes time to accept the reality that that is all gone. Yet in every minute after the shock wears off you are reminded. This emptiness cannot be filled with family and friends.
When I think of Steve, I try to be content with the knowledge that for him, the pain is gone. He is no longer in a fight to the death with cancer. And I remind myself that in all the love he had for me, he would want me to be happy. He kept telling me I'm stronger than I think and I can do this, and again, he is right. He always loved being right.