Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Widowhood

Widowhood has been both easy and hard. Easy in some ways to adapt to, because I am fine by myself. Hard in some ways because there are many jobs that are just easier if you are the husband. Men seem more task oriented and mechanical.

I went to a dating website and viewed some of the profiles. These men want someone who they can potentially marry and have a life partner. That's not what I want. I don't want to live anywhere else nor have anyone move in with me.

I want my artwork laid out on the dining room table for weeks. But I want the bed made neatly each morning. Bathrooms have to be clean all the time. No TV on just to make noise. I want to dance to booming music with no one watching, and sing loud making up lyrics as I go along. I want to text 12 people then wait for them to respond and keep it all straight. I want to cry uncontrollably just because I thought of something about Steve. I want to talk about he and I. Maybe because it involved 23 years of my life and it's hard to leave him out of stories.

I had a friend tell me when I meet Mr. Right all that will go by the wayside. But I already met, had and lost Mr. Right.

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