Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Home Is Where We All Want To Be

We have a tear off portion on our bulletin at church. You can write out a prayer request and drop it in the offering. Or you can put in a prayer request at our website. These are printed out and as a staff, we gather and pray for each one of these. It was incredible how many of these there were at our Easter services. So many sad situations like illness, finances, unemployment, relationships and so on.

But there one short request that has been on my heart. All it said was, I hope I can go home soon. It made me wonder the circumstance behind it. Was it a teenager, a husband or wife estranged? Perhaps a hospitalization, rehab or foster home were the separating culprit. Regardless, it made me thankful home. It's just me and my plants so there is not a lot of welcoming when I come in the door, but it is home.

I pray for this person, to soon be home.

Sunday, April 17, 2016

The Last Sermon on Healing

As I listened to the sermon this week on God's ability to heal, I was reminded of the last time Steven came to church with me. Ironically, it was also on healing. I thought of him the whole time the pastor spoke, knowing it wasn't irony at all that he was here for this message but wondering what he was thinking. Church had never been a comfortable place for him. And especially now when the odds of catching a cold were much more likely around this many people.

I knew Steven probably would not be healed from the cancer that had left him bald, weak and with only a whisper for a voice. But it did not stop me from the mantra prayer that came as easily those days as breathing. "Please God"

I was silent as we left the church. We walked not hand in hand like we used to, but slowly, weakly, as one who had to deal with poison in their veins and radiation in their brain. He finally spoke,
 saying simply, "I guess I needed to hear that."

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Is A Dream Better Than Nothing At All

I had the weirdest dream last night that I was held. Held as in man and wife at night sleeping. It wasn't a sexual thing at all, just that physical warm enfolding that we take for granted when we are married for years.

But, I woke up sad and missing Steven. We knew just how to fit. Someday, I'll have that again. And he and I will learn. It seemed so long ago since I had been held while I slept. I don't know why I can't be happy I had it in a dream.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

The Good The Bad And My Ugly Gums

March was a very hard month for me. We purchased a new software system where I work, so I trained several days to learn it and still needed to keep up with my responsibilities. Then I needed to take what I was taught and write procedure for my volunteers, while keeping up with my responsibilities. The next step was to train my volunteers. I needed to keep a good attitude despite being as frustrated as they were over the unfriendliness of the program. And revise my procedure over and over as we found new ways to enter or print information.

I then had a week off,  but it was for my 2nd gum procedure. After making the mistake to go back to work right after the first side and not being able to take the pain medication I needed, I knew this time I would not work. So pain meds and time off do not equal an enjoyable week. But the good news is I only have 2 sides to my mouth so no more of that business.

At the end of the month, I was getting caught up from my time off and trying to figure out how to print the necessary paperwork to balance accounts and put together the bank reconciliation with the new non-friendly software. That is where I am now.

April is a new month. My birthday month. So I'm going to be happy no matter what. Spring is in the air. I'm recovering and not in pain. I've discovered and taught something difficult, and I have this wonderful blog to write all the good and bad.